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The Results Red Red Wine Red Red Wine - UB40 ...as chosen by Chris in London. "It has to be one of the most annoying vocals ever sung. It sounds like he's in a purgatory of retching but just failing to vomit throughout. Perhaps due to gross over-exposure (the thing sat at number one for weeks thanks to the discerning UK public) and the combination of a watered-down SKA/reggae accompaniment for the sort of people that would never buy a SKA or reggae record, it always made me retch too. Even now I have to leave any room in which it is being played. Mind you, they did worse but that's another story....." Bourgeois Chris would rather sing along with Yazz. Sex Machine Sex Machine - James Brown ...as chosen by Peter Codeine. "What an omission! We only haven't mentioned it before because it is banned in our presence and we'd forgotten it even existed until... When they finally get around to compiling The Ultimate Office Party Album In The World Of All Time Ever I know what side-one-track-one is gonna be. Any crumbs of pleasure left in the original tune have long been whittled away to nought by too many end-of-year office knees-ups: wide boy Archie from accounts coming on all snake-hipped, sweating profusely and savagely biting his top lip, Christmas '96; Debbie from Business Affairs, in seasonal red blazer and reeking of vodka-cranberry, commits frantic groin-thrusting, Christmas '98. Sex Machine: the sound of enforced good times all under the watchful eye of the boss. Run away! Run away! Run away! (Before Mustang Sally fires up...)" Bourgeois Peter would rather sing along with Yazz. Music Music - John Miles ...as chosen by Pieter in Ghent. "Every year, when radio stations compile their listeners' top ten timeless records, this thing rears its ugly head. It is pretentious, boring and highly annoying. The tempo changes, the switch from clichéd and plain "rawk" passages to pseudoclassical, sugary kitsch, the irritating high voice and the bombastic and nauseating finale make this fart the absolute nadir of the repulsive genre called 'symfonic rock'." Bourgeois Pieter would rather AM/FM all that Jazz.